There are tons of great drivers out there. They keep their eyes on the road and their hands on the wheel and generally get from point A to B without endangering themselves or others.
Then there’s that other group of drivers. You know, the ones who fail to signal, text while driving and generally refuse to share the road with anyone not driving a Hummer.
So how should you deal with this latter group both to ensure your own safety and to keep yourself level-headed if they get up in your grill? We’ve got 11 tips for you to choose from!
1- Knock on their window (& tell a joke)
Knock. Knock. Who’s there? A driver who didn’t see a joke coming (kind of like a biker who didn’t see a driver coming)… Just please don’t tell the one with the banana and the orange. #playedout
2- Smile, it’s more fun
Meeting a confrontational person with a smile can be more alarming than firing back with frustration and anger. Added bonus - you look good.
3- Become a neon sign
Make yourself impossible to not see, even by the most careless of drivers. Cover yourself in neon, use many blinking bike lights, and hell, rock a disco ball helmet – be visible and bring the party with you wherever you go.
4- Sing, Sing a Song
“Hit ’em up style” with an appropriately catchy song. “You can go your own way” or “I did it my way” have a delightfully sarcastic tone for the driver who plays by his or her own rules. Maybe, you’ll get it stuck in their head. But at a bare minimum, you’ll amuse yourself.
5- Ask who they voted for
If you find yourself dealing with a shouter, politics are a perfect conversation stopper. Unexpected. Frequently uncomfortable. But the topic tends to make folks think. We want drivers thinking about their surroundings and about where Donald Trump’s comb-over comes from.
6- Put a sticker on ‘em
Keep a stockpile and dole out these bumper stickers to any deserving fools who don’t know how to share the road. Ok, since destruction of property isn’t the best ever, class it up a little bit with simple pamphlets. Leave simple flyers on how to share the road (complete with the stickers to hammer the point home).
*Note: Fortified Bicycle does not endorse the destruction of property…even if it’s deserved.
7- Mime call me, maybe
If the driver thinks you’re interested, hopefully they’ll look right at you and even try to avoid hitting his or her potential new flame. So give fake digits, and stay safe, maybe.
8- Walk (err, bike) away
When in doubt, keep space between you and any driver you find offensive (to your safety, nose or whatever else).
9- Keep ‘em where you can see them
Put the terrible driver in front of you, so you can keep your eyes out for stupid maneuvers and have time to respond to them.
10- Photograph their license plate
Snap a photo and call the local authorities. Give dispatch the plate number. Report the reckless driver. #endscene
11- Call for backup
Don’t let the heat of the moment get to you - you, don’t need to confront an aggressive driver on your own. There are plenty of officers, even ones with little, pink bikes, that can lend a hand in a sticky situation.
Of course, how you deal with a terrible driver is situational. You’re bound to respond differently depending on whether they deliberately ran you off the road (#10 & #11) or because they were texting while driving (#8 & #9)…
How do you deal with bad drivers? Share your favorite stop-them-in-their-tracks tips in the comments!